Many families rely on older children to care for their younger siblings, often out of necessity. While occasional babysitting and light supervision can teach responsibility, placing regular caregiving responsibilities on children can have negative effects on their mental health, education, and personal development.
With today’s changing social dynamics and increased awareness of child psychology, experts now argue that expecting older siblings to act as substitute parents—often referred to as “parentification”—can be detrimental to their well-being.
In this article, we explore the reasons why children should not be responsible for looking after their younger siblings, along with expert opinions, latest studies, and solutions for parents facing childcare challenges.
1. It Can Cause Emotional and Psychological Stress
Expecting older children to care for their younger siblings places emotional pressure on them that they are often not mature enough to handle.
Parentification and Its Psychological Impact
“Parentification” occurs when a child is given adult responsibilities, such as looking after siblings, managing household duties, or even providing emotional support to parents.
A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association (APA) found that children who experience parentification at a young age are more likely to develop:
- Anxiety disorders
- Depression
- Low self-esteem
- Difficulties in forming healthy relationships later in life
When children are forced into a caregiving role, they may feel overwhelmed, guilty, or even resentful toward their younger siblings.
2. It Interferes With Education and Academic Success
School-aged children should be focused on their education, but taking care of younger siblings can disrupt their ability to study and succeed academically.
Lower Grades and Missed Opportunities
A 2024 report from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) found that students who regularly care for younger siblings miss more school days, struggle with homework completion, and have lower grades compared to their peers.
Common academic struggles include:
- Missed assignments due to babysitting responsibilities
- Inability to focus during online or in-person classes
- Fewer extracurricular activities, leading to a weaker academic resume
If an older child is constantly responsible for their younger sibling, they may fall behind in school, which can impact their future education and career opportunities.
3. It Limits Social Development and Friendships
Children need time to socialize, make friends, and explore their own interests, but caregiving responsibilities can take away these opportunities.
Less Time for Peer Interaction
A 2023 study by Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child found that children who frequently care for siblings have less time for social interactions, leading to:
- Fewer friendships
- Increased feelings of isolation
- Poor conflict-resolution skills
Instead of spending time with friends or participating in clubs, many children who act as caretakers feel stuck at home or excluded from social activities.
4. Increased Risk of Accidents and Injuries
Older siblings, especially preteens and teenagers, are not trained caregivers. They may lack the knowledge and skills required to handle emergencies, accidents, or health-related issues.
Dangerous Situations
According to a 2024 report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly 60% of household child injury cases occur when an older sibling is watching a younger child.
Common risks include:
⚠️ Choking hazards – Young children often put small objects in their mouths, and older siblings may not know how to react quickly.
Kitchen and fire safety issues – Older siblings may attempt to cook for their younger ones, increasing the risk of burns or house fires.
Lack of proper supervision – A teenager may get distracted by their phone or homework, leaving younger siblings vulnerable to accidents.
Parents should consider hiring a trained babysitter or making alternative arrangements rather than expecting an older child to handle such risks alone.
5. It Creates Unhealthy Family Dynamics
When parents expect older siblings to care for younger ones, it can lead to resentment, family conflicts, and long-term relationship issues.
Strained Sibling Relationships
A 2023 study by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) found that older siblings who take on caregiving roles often develop resentment toward their younger siblings, which can lead to:
- Sibling rivalry
- Emotional distance between family members
- Lack of affection or long-term estrangement
Older siblings should have the freedom to be children themselves, rather than feeling burdened by responsibilities that belong to parents.
Alternatives: What Parents Can Do Instead
If parents struggle with childcare, there are better solutions than placing the responsibility on an older sibling.
1. After-School Programs
Many community centers and schools offer low-cost after-school programs where younger children can engage in activities while parents work.
2. Family and Community Support
Parents can ask extended family members, neighbors, or trusted friends to help with childcare instead of relying on an older sibling.
3. Professional Babysitters or Nannies
Hiring a babysitter, even for just a few hours a day, can relieve older children of caregiving duties and allow them to focus on school and personal growth.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. Shouldn’t older siblings learn responsibility by caring for younger siblings?
Yes, but there is a difference between occasional help and full-time caregiving. Teaching responsibility should not come at the expense of a child’s education, mental health, or social life.
2. What if parents have no choice but to rely on the older sibling?
In emergency situations, it may be necessary. However, this should not become a regular expectation. Seeking community programs or part-time childcare services can help.
3. Does watching a younger sibling really affect academic performance?
Yes. Studies show that older siblings who regularly care for younger ones struggle with homework, miss school more often, and experience higher levels of stress.
4. What if the older sibling enjoys taking care of their younger sibling?
Occasionally helping out is fine, but long-term caregiving can still lead to burnout, resentment, and missed opportunities in the older child’s life.
5. Are there any benefits to sibling caregiving?
Yes, in moderation. Older siblings may develop leadership, patience, and caregiving skills. However, these benefits should not come at the cost of their own childhood and well-being.
Conclusion
While older siblings may love and care for their younger brothers and sisters, they should not be expected to take on the role of a parent. The emotional stress, academic struggles, and lost childhood experiences can have long-term negative effects.
Instead, parents should seek alternative childcare solutions to ensure that all children in the household get the support, freedom, and opportunities they deserve.
At the end of the day, children should be allowed to be children, not caregivers.
